Yesterday was awesome. Alex came over for sex and pasta after school and at around 5:30, we left to Hammerstein Ballroom to see Matisyahu. We got there early enough to get to stand right at the very front of the floor, by the gate. We were also standing right next to the giant stack that later almost made my ears bleed. Anyway, we sat around waiting for the show to start, and sure enoguh, Balkan Beatbox came out at 8. They were awesome and I got really into them, but the crowd we were surrounded by sucked and didn't move so the energy kinda just dissipated. Balkan Beatbox had two saxophonists, one of whom changed instruments pretty often, a trombonist, a guitarist, a bassist, an a drummer. The music is sort of gypsy/big band/ska/klezmer and the first few and the last song were amazing. At one point, this rapper joined them and hewas ok. After they finshed their set, we waited for half an hour and then Matisyahu came on and ripped up the stage. He was really great. Once in a while he would stand up on the speakers and shit and clap with the audience. His beatboxing was awesome, but not as good as it was when we heard him in September. The bass was so fucking loud that I could feel my heart, clothes, and hair shaking as the sound came out of the speakers we were next to. Matisyahu played until 10:20 or so and then Alex an I spent about a half hour trying to get our coats back. We got home at aroudn 12:30 and I almost passed out in bed.

Today I turned 18! Woohoo! In the morning, Alex came to my house to take the train with me and brought a gorgeous bouquet with him. On the train he gave me wrote me a little note, which couldn't have been more heart-felt or romantic. A few people wished me a happy birthday in school, but otherwise it was largely uneventful. Anna and Lena gave me my gift which include a pair of handcuffs and a cock ring with a vibrating attachment. When Alex came over after school, we got to test out our new toys, and let me tell you that that was pretty fucking awesome. Mmmmmm.. Anyway, at around 5:45, my mom picked me and Alex up and we went to Blue Ribbon, a Japanese Restaurant, in Park Slope with my father. The sushi was very good and we drank a bottle of saki to celebrate. My parents gave me a nice enveloped with ten Bens, which was a lot more than I was expecting. After dinner, we drove Alex home and I stopped by my great-grandmother's to pick up a gift.

So now I can buy cigarettes, buy lotto tickets, vote, go to sex stores, and drive without others in the car. Oh the places I'll go.. I don't feel much older and for some reason I'm very upset that I 'm not enjoying this day. I feel like nothing really happened today and that upsets me. I'm waiting for Saturday, which I hope will lift my spirits. Well, happy birthday to me!

and

MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW!

Last Friday was a pretty nice day. I met Alex at Dolya's house because we had promised to come see her that week. We had a very nice, filling lunch and talked about all kinds of things, but mostly about how Alex is a lazy bum. It was fun just sitting around and talking especially after I had to wait for the N and Q for 20 minutes each in the freezing fucking weather. Once we finished drinking tea, Alex and I left Dolya's and went to the beach so that Alex could photograph waves, sand, birds, the whole nine yards. He had me pose, which didn't come out to well, and took Photoshop-looking photos of me. I think he also got some shots of the sand gliding on top of sand because of the strong wind. Unfortunately, it was that same freezing wind that made us leave the beach, especially considering that Alex didn't have any gloves. Two pirozhki with cabbage and a train ride later, Alex and I arrived at my grandmother's house. We basically did the same think: talk, eat, and watch TV. We were getting into the Olympics and were going to stay for the Women's Giant Slolem, but we decided to go home. At my house, we watched Requiem for a Dream, which was a pretty cool movie. It certainly convinced me out of doing heroin. We got into a heated argument about pot, then drank tea and go into a heated argument about the movie. Alex eventually went home, but the night was spent quite nicely.

On Saturday I finished the math quiz and killed time unti Alex came over. We sat around for a bit and then left to the city to go Dangerfield's with Yana and Ron. We had some quick pizza at Amore's (they had my favorite tomato/onion slice!) and then went to the comedy show. Yana and Ron came when the comics already started, but they didn't miss much. The comics performing that night weren't the best I've seen, but it was still pretty fun. I had some good laughs, but I don't remember about what. After the show, we all made our way to Dylan's where we proceeded to buy and steal candy for a good 45 minutes or so. Fun stuff. The train ride home was fun, too, but not as much as time alone with Alex in my bed. A funny thing happened, though. I was lying in my shirt and underwear with Alex's head on my stomach when my father, a tad drunk, burst into my room to tell me something. Uncomfortable moment, I must say. Anyway, Alex left an hour or so later and I was alone.

I basically killed time on Sunday. Toward nighttime, I went to my grandmother's house to watch the closing ceremony of the Olympics, but that turned out to be a complete waste. I got home and had trouble sleeping, which is the worst part about coming back to school from a vacation.

Monday sucked, except for maybe when Alex came over to my house after school, in which case I sucked. Ha.

Ugh, Tuesday was hell. Everything was supposed to go wonderfully because Tuesday was the first Sophomore Major Selection day. I was going to go home, do homework, nap, leave my house at 4:30 to go to music, get home, finish my homework, and pass out around 10. That is definitely not what happened. Well, everything went swell until 4:30 when I left the house. Both the B6 and B1 came relatively soon for me, which was awesome. Five minutes away from music , I called my mom to ask her to pick me up when I realized that my music lesson starts at 4, not 5. At that point, the slight nausea I had been feeling since 9th period at school got unbearable and I suddenly realized I was getting the same stomach virus my mom had a few days ago. My mom picked me up off the bus and I went home with strict instructions to vomit unless I wanted to die of pain. I couldn't throw up for a while, but after drinking 2 huge cups of water, it all came out, even through my nose. Then I crawled into bed and passed out. I basically spent the rest of the night in bed and even managed to pass out again at 11.

I stayed home on Wednesday, watched some Family Guy, and did homework. Had I not been sick, I would have been having sex, so it made me very upset that I wasn't. Anyway, by the end of the night, I felt ok.

Friday was yet another Senior Pride Day: Pajama Day. I was going to dress up, or rather, dress down, but my mom gave all my pajamas to my sister. Anyway, it was a sucky Pride Day anyway, so I'm kinda glad I didn't participate. The day went by relatively quickly because I was just waiting for the night to begin. Alex and I went to my house after school to make up for Wednesday, but lack of time sets certain restrictions. At 6:30, we left for the city to go to Mars 2112 to meet up with Sandi, Max, Morris, and Sandi's friends Ai and Maria to celebrate Sandi's 17th birthday. We took a little "space ride" to the restaurant, which cost $2 a person and was completely useless and awful. The food was plain, the prices were expensive, the wait was long, and the martians were annoying, but Wendyl, our waiter, was nice and we just had fun sitting around and talking. The atmosphere is really set to look like Mars but was way too much at one point. Anyway, after dinner it was off to Staten Island for us. Morris went to the trains and the rest of us made our way to the express bus stop. An hour later, Max, Sandi, Alex, and I were standing in front of the Cosmopolitan Motel. We got a room, settled in, and got ready for an exciting night. By 11:45, we all finished eating the 1/4 ounce of shrooms Sandi and Max were trying so hard to get during the week. After a joint on the four of us, we were absolutely gone. The motel room was suddenly the best, most comfortable place we could be. Being under the covers was amazing, and Alex made me the happiest person in the world when he explain space and gravity to me. We tried playing cards, ate pop rocks, walked around outside, laughed, made shadow puppets, watched TV, watched porn, emulated the porn for a little bit in as private a manner as possible, and lived in our own little words every second. I love the shrooming feeling because it's such a different, amazing feeling. I was so happy, nothing could go wrong, every was comfortable and soft and warm and nice.. it was such a carefree feeling and I can't wait to experience it again. Toward the end of the night, Alex and I listened to the Beatles in bed and everyone eventually passed out. Except me. I was too awake and I kept listening to some distant sound. I couldn't fall asleep because I didn't understand where the sound was coming from or what could be making that sound. I think I eventually fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.

However, the little sleep that I got was the best fucking sleep I've had. It was SO comfortable, and it was amazingly comfortable sleeping with Alex, as compared to the other times we sleep in a bed together. We left the room at 11 and went to McDonald's for some food. Then, Sandi and Max and Alex and I went our separated ways. Alex and I waited for the bus for a while, and then for the N for a while, but it was nice just sitting and feeling relaxed. I got home at 1, went to see my grandmother at 2-ish, came home, and then left to Alex's house. We lay around for a bit, then watched tv, and then my mom picked me up. I didn't want to leave, but it seemed as though I was the only one. In any case, I got home and now I'm here blogging.

So tomorrow are the Oscars and I might go to my grandmother's house to watch the show. Otherwise, my birthday is rapidly approaching in 4 days and I'm quite the excited fellow. Plus, Alex and I are going to see Matisyahu on the 7th, which is going to be awesome. The weekend is going to be great too because I'm going to have a little shindig to celebrate. I hear there are cool gifts coming my way, and I can't wait. Yay! Let the birthday countdown begin.

So let me begin my wishing Anna a happy belated 18th birthday. HAPPY BELATED 18th BIRTHDAY, ANNA! When I was writing her card, I forgot to mention that she could go out and vote. What does it say about our country when so few of us associate turning 18 with voting? I wouldn't know, but I felt sorta stupid. Anyway, Anna's birthday celebration on Tuesday was awesome. On Monday morning, I went to Alex's house for some loving. We had breakfast and then went straight to the bedroom. I tried riding backwards, which was great but it takes a lot out of your quads. We also went into a very long, drawn out fuck that ended up leaving me with an amazing orgasm and welts on my ass. Says a lot, no? We took a bath and I washed Alex's back, then we lay around in his bed listening to the Life Aquatic soundtrack. That was when Alex realized how much he loved me: I used his balls as maracas. Enough said. After lunch and lying around in his bed, we got dressed and left to meet Anna, Dima, and Eddie on the Kings Highway stop of the F train. We walked into Alphabet City to go to the hookah bar where we were joined by Lena, Lev, and Lev's friend whose name I forgot. We ordered food and hookahs, which I smoked for the first time. All in all, hookah made me nauseas after too much of it, but I guess it's just one of those social kinda things. We took photos at the table, and after about two hours we moved into the tent where we continued to take more photos. I was sick of the hookah by then and just lay back enjoying the atmosphere and conversations. When the clock hit 12, the waitress came with some baklava with candles in it for Anna and we sang happy birthday to her. She was embarrassed and we were happy. We left the bar at around 12:30 and went our separate ways back home. Alex and I walked Anna and Lena to Anna's house and then walked to my house. My parents let Alex sleep over and it was wonderful waking up next to him in the morning.

We ate breakfast, had sex, and lay around until 2 when Alex left my house so he could make it to his music lesson. I went to music from 4 to 5 and then went to Alex's house. This bastard on the B3 wouldn't let me on with the student card at first and I got very angry, but he eventually let me go. That was the first time I have ever been stopped for using my student on vacation days in 4 years, but I guess there's a first for everything. When I got to Alex's house, he was playing WarCraft, and I let him go on playing while I watched TV. This went on until 12 o'clock, which was fine because he'd come over and kiss me once in a while. Before I left I gave Alex a trip downtown and he was one happy camper.

Wednesday felt like a complete waste of my life. I spent the whole day trying to do homework, filling out my Village Voice internship application, and going online. I did go to tennis, but when I got home, it was right back to homework that I didn't do earlier in the day. I tried doing my take-home math quiz but got all frustrated and irritable and gave it up. Wednesday sucked.

Today was fun, though. I woke up late-ish, had some olivye, and sat around online a bit. At 2:30 I went to Alex's house. He went downton and I returned the favor. When he came he made this awful sound and I ended up spitting all over him, which was absolutely hilarious. We had some of his mazurka and left to meet up with Lena, Lev, Anna, and Dima to play pool. While we were waiting for the bus, Alex attempted to stop me from looking at the karate place because "Women aren't allowed to look because there are laser beams that shoot at them if htey look in there." But, as Alex learned, karma is a bitch. When the bus came, he got on before me and the black, female bus driver yelled at him for not having any manners and not letting me go first. It was Alex's bus ride of shame. I made him walk through the front on the way out, but nothing of significance happened. Oh well, at least he got some revenge for his chauvanism. We went to Gotham Billiards on Ave. U between West 9th and 10th and played a few games. I sucked most of the time, but I did manage to make some balls in . It was fun nonetheless and I enjoyed playing eventhough I was terrible. I probably can't say the same for my teammates. Oh well. After pool, we walked to Sahara for some grindage. We were seated in our own hall and had a nice meal. Toward the end, Lev shaped the remained of his food into a penis and proceeded to take obscene photos with Dima and the penis. It's all documented, which is wonderful. After Sahara, we all went our separate ways. I went over to Alex's house where we had tea and mazurka and watched TV until 11:30 when my mom picked me up. I spent the rest of my night playing poker with Alex and Danny and blogging.

So we've come full-circle. Tomorrow is grandmother visitation day and Saturday we're going out with Yana and Ron. I feel like I've done just about everything this week. I still have to finish that stupid math quiz. Oh well, I'll probably end up doing everything wrong and then get corrected by Alex who will make me feel like an idiot, but who will eventually lead to my getting a good grade after hours of turmoil and yelling. Can't wait. No matter what, I still love him like crazy, and he knows it. Later y'all.

Alex left on the 9th to Florida for his grandmother's birthday and I felt at a complete loss. Friday was Senior Pride Blast from the Past Day, which was really cool because lots of people were really creative. Anyway, so without my usual Friday evening with Alex, I decided to meet up with Morris. I got to his house before he did and sat around reading The New Yorker while his dad cooked in the kitchen. When Morris came, we walked through his weird alleyways and decided to go to the movies. He wanted to watch The Pink Panther but by the time we got to the theater, it was sold out. We ended up buying tickets for The Matador and went to Ollie's to eat. In the restaurant, this huge, black couple sat next to us and apparently the guy was asking the chick to get back with him. It was hilarious. After we ate, Morris showed me the place where he smokes by the West Side Highway and then we went to the movies. The Matador was ok, nothing special. It was even sort of disappointing at one point. Oh well. I walked Morris to the 59th Street station and walked to 42nd to get on the N. I fell asleep on the train and was much happier to find myself at home. I missed Alex very badly, but by the time I got home he was asleep and I felt all alone.

Saturday was fun, but I fear it was a little too much fun. So Sandi wanted to shroom, but she couldn't get shrooms so she and Morris decided to come over to my house to smoke. She brought two 20s of Sour Diesels and left with nothing. Anyway, we ordered some sushi and listened to the Beatles. Then we watched THe Breakfast Club and porn. When my parents came home, we pushed ourselves out of burning out and went to the supermarket to get some food. 20 minutes later, we were smoking again, this time with my dad. He took two pulls and played us some music, which sounded absolutely amazing. We passed out at around 4 and I resolutely decided to take a nice break from smoking. I just felt sick, which is awful. I feel as though all the fun has gone out of smoking, but I guess that's not a bad thing.

On Sunday, my parents and I went to my grandmother's house to watch the Winter Olympics at Torino, France. We got to watch Men's Downhill, which was really awesome. I went home at around 10:30 and passed out.

Alex came home on Monday and I made it my duty to visit him after school, which worked out nicely because it was a Common Time day. Unfortunately, Alex didn't know that and decided to come surprise me after school. When he got to Tech, he realized it was Common Time and got back on the train. Meanwhile, I was already on Beverley. Anywho, I got off the train and waited for him and gave him a huge kiss when I saw him. When we got home, Alex stripped me to the bare essentials and invited me into the kitchen where he proceeded to ravage me on the kitchen table. That was absolutely wonderful, particularly because we were in a whole other dimension. It got weird when he got on the table with me, but nonetheless wonderful. We lay around in his bed a bit and had sex again, and then I went home.

Friday was an awesome day. It was Senior Pride Nerd Day and Alex and I both dressed up. Alex went all out and really looked like a nerd. I wore Alex's short-sleeved button-down shirt and my dad's suspenders and managed to look at least partially like a nerd. It was fun acting like and idiot all day. After school, Alex and I went to my house where I got to redeem my "IOU a trip 'downtown'" coupon that Alex gave me. We lay around for a little bit and at 6, we got dressed and went to the city. We went to the South Street Seaport to the Bodies Exhibition, the exhibit consisting of real human bodies and human body parts. It was absolutely amazing and so interesting. There was one gallery where they showed blood vessels and veins of arms, legs, the brain, the body, etc. The doctor who created the exhibit poured some red liquid into a body, I guess, and the liquid solidified. Then, the vessels were washed away or removed somehow and only the tracks were left. I guess I'm not explaining it too well, but it was a really amazing exhibit. After the museum, we went uptown to Josie's because we haven't gone there in a while. The food was great, as usual, and we had a pear and fig pie for desert, which was really sweet but yummy. We slept all the way home on the train and slept some more at my house when we got here. Alex left late and I missed him.

Saturday was awful. I did absolutely nothing all day. I sang a bit with my dad and just sat around at my computer for most of the day. Toward the evening, around 9, I went to my grandmother's house where my dad and grandparents were watching the Olympics. We watched some bobsledding, speedskating, and men's Super-G. Some skiiers did terribly, but others were really great. It was really fun to watch and I talked to Alex for a while while we watched the Olympics. It was really cold that night and getting home was freezing. God bless warm beds.

Today, or yesterday, I guess (again), felt like a waste in the morning when I woke up early. I spent most of the afternoon washing dishes, eating, washing dishes, having tea, and washing dishes. Ugh. Alex and my grandparents came at around 3:30. We lay around on my bed and Alex helped me get all my restlessness out. At 5, we started eating shrimp, drinking beer, and talking, and went on until 9-ish. Alex and I went back to my room and I went downtown. He went home at 11 and I went back to doing nothing.

Tomorrow is going to be great fun. We're going to celebrate Anna's birthday at a hookah bar, and then Alex get's to stay at my house. Well, until then, then.. Night.

I went back to tennis on Wednesday and realized how much I missed it. Had lots of fun playing and serving well.

On Thursday, Alex and I went to see Aida at the Met after school. The opera was amazing, but maybe it was because we sat in the orchestra section. I got to see the singers and the conductor and the amazing set really well. But the greatest plus of sitting so close is that the music really hits you and I just kept getting goosebumps. The production was so well done and the scenes were so well executed and decorated. It was really amazing. I guess it also made up for that terrible Broadway version I went to see a few years ago. Ugh.

Friday was a weird day. It was our first Senior Pride Day: Movie Day. I didn't really dress up as anyone, but if someone asked, I said I was that chick from Librarian Sluts 5. Alex was Leon from The Professional and we had quite a few guys from Brokeback Mountain. Some people were really creative, while others, like me, were not. It was fun being a senior, though, which I guess is the point. After school, Alex and I went to the city without any plans. We thought of going to Bryant Park and then to Josie's, but on 42nd street on the B, we decided to turn back and go to Union Square. We had the good pizza there at Amore's and made foil animals again. We sat around for a while, talked, and made plans for Saturday. A bathroom stop at Starbucks and a fruitless boot search at Shoe World later, we made it to the benches in Union Square Park. We sat around and Alex gave me photography lessons. After we had enough of that, we walked to Mud for some coffee, which is funny considering I don't drink coffee anywhere but at Mud. No idea why. Anyway, as I sat there, these depressing thoughts started coming back to me. Lately I've been looking at life as happening one second at a time. I don't feel the future or the past, but only the present. I guess the philosophy is a good one considering it helped me understand why its good to live for the moment, bu lately it's been completely opposite. I've stopped looking forward to things, I stopped being a little kid and being happy about events like my birthday or a show I really want to go to. It's as if the sweetness has left my life, and it sucks so much. Often when I'm with Alex and I'm having fun, my mind just jumps to what would happen in the future when he's no longer beside me. What then? Sitting in Mud I realized how scared I was to lose him. It's as though I feel like the beginning of college means the end of our relationship. A few years ago, I was still a little kid, still imagining how far away this time of separation was and how much more amazing moments are left to enjoy. Yet now it's all backward, like a countdown. Inside, my heart is counting down the months when I have to say goodbye to him. That's when I broke into tears in the corner of Mud. I started sobbing and crying and I felt horrible. I don't know what came over me, but it didn't seem to affect Alex too much. He held my hand and convinced me to leave, but it was as if my tears meant nothing. We walked to Starbucks because I said I had to go pee and I ended up crying aloud, which made things easier. I looked at my face in the mirror, covered in tears, red and puffy, and felt so beautiful. Why do I feel pretty drenched in tears? Ugh. I washed my face and left the bathroom. We walked to the train and went home. I calmed down and forced myself to push all the pain down. We saw my dad on the train and talked to him on the way home..

Alex and I did a lot of talking that night, but I still feel as though we didn't resolve anything. I feel no closure, no solution, no new way of looking at this whole situation. I guess I have to do it myself. I guess it's going to have to take me forcing myself to live for the moment, not fear how quickly it passes. It's going to take work. Lot's of work. But for now, I'm ok with feeling a little depressed.

I spent all of Saturday cleaning for my party. Leon and Matt came by at around 7 to drop of an eighth of some really amazing weed. They left, but Alex came soon after. He watched me roll until Dima and Eddie came by around 8. We played cards and talked. Then Eugene came with Regina, Just[in], and wine, which we downed quite quickly. Next was Zina, then Lena and Lev, and a lot later, Oleg. Zina brought wine and my dad let us have a bottle. We smoked and laughed. I asked questions from Trivial Pursuit and Eddie blew up a mint condom. Most people eventually left and I cleaned up and made the bed for Zina and Dima while Lena and Lev made themselves comfortable in my sister's room. I passed out but with difficulty because Alex and I tend to roll a lot at night. The night went well, otherwise, and I'm glad I had a chance to have a party.

This morning I woke up with Alex at around 9. I tried sleeping until 10, but Alex was getting restless. I eventually had to get up because Lena was making breakfast and I felt like a terrible host. Lena, Lev, Dima, Alex, and I ate and then Lena, Lev, and Dima left. Alex and I lay around until 12 when Alex decided to go home. I did my some of my homework and then went to Alex's house at 3 because we were invited to Olga's 18th birthday. We walked to Empire King Buffet on Nostrand and ate Chinese food with Olga, Matt, Oleg, and a bunch of people I didn't know. I was burnt and thus not very talkative. But, when we got to Olga's house to watch the Super Bowl, I started feeling better. Marina came with her boyfriend, Slava, who is very tall and Oleg, Matt, Alex, and I played the name game. Come to think of it, we played it the night before, which was impossible because I couldn't think. Anyway, I stayed until the second quarter was over and my mom came to pick me up. I stood outside with Alex for a few minutes before she came and we kissed a little. The second I got into the car, I was out of it. I started feeling like shit. When I got home, I did my speech for English and started listening to sad music. I hate this feeling. I have a huge headache and am probably also very tired, but I feelt like shit and that's not good. I had relatively wonderful weekend, why didn't it have to end like this? Phooey.

Last Friday was pretty standard, I guess. I woke up late, took a shower, and wentto visit my grandmother. After a few hours, my grandfather drove me to Alex's house where we just sat around doing nothing. Toward the evening, we went to eat at Sahara, which was really yummy. After dinner, we went to the city to watch a movie. We walked to three theaters before deciding on going to Angelika to watch Why We Fight. On the way, we stopped to indulge at Rice to Riches. The film wasn't very successful in its propaganda, but the ideas were there. It managed to get me all riled up on the train when I told Alex how much those kinds of movies make me want to wake others up. The basic idea is that big business controls the government and our money is going in all the wrong ways. The ideals of the Constitution, which I once took so much pride in, are being destroyed at the hands of big business. My innate reaction is to fight back, to make changes, to not let anyone control me like a mindless citizen. Alex, however, is one who believes that nothing can be done and that even though the whole fucked up system sucks, we can't do much about it. That angers me, so I've set to prove him wrong. Look for me at the hands of the FBI 20 years from now. Anyway, after our long conversation on the train, Alex took me home and left. It was a really nice Friday, one that I missed having.

Saturday sucked. Stayed home until I left with my parents to Staten Island where I got to feel uncomfortable until 11. I think the isolation does something to people on islands.

Sunday was lots of fun. Alex came over in the afternoon and we drank tea and sat with my parents, aunt, and uncle until 6 when we got on the train to meet everyone at UCB. When we got there, Eddie, Anna, and Lena were waiting for us. Oleg and Matt came by to say hi to us, which was cool. We stood around and talked for quite some time, got our tickets and went to Subway. Whilst we sat in Subway, Dima, fresh from a debate, and Lev, fresh from his grandmother's, made a cameo appearance in our evening. At one point, Alex shot a spit ball right into Eddie's ear. Right in there. Right where the hole is. It was amazing. So Eddie retaliated by spitting a straw-full of coke all over Alex's face and sweatshirt. Then, Alex began his spit-ball retaliation. On the way back to UCB and in line there and inside Alex kept shooting spit balls at Eddie. When we got in and sat down, the spit balls continued. We played telephone to pass the time until Eddie passed down a message to me to spit in Alex's face after yet another wet piece of napkin hit him in the face. I tried doing what Alex does when he pretends to spit at me only it didn't work and I ended up spitting right into his face. I felt terrible and I still do because I didn't mean it. It was a mistake I won't soon forget. Aside from the drama, ASSSSSSSSCAT was a lot of fun. There were lots of funny moments and it was nice being with everyone. Horatio Sanz did a much better job this time and I was a lot more happier (except for the spitting incident) when we left. On the way home, Alex and I took the D with Anna, who moved recently. We had to get off on 62nd to transfer, but one stairway was closed so I got back on the train, thinking there was no other way to transfer to the N. Alex was furious with me and I felt even worse. This little thing was eating away at my insides as the evening quickly turned from bad to worse. We eventually got out on Bay Parkway, though, and took car service home. An overall nice evening that ended badly.

Monday was nice. I woke up around 11:30, feeling really tired. I got dressed and went to Brighton to meet Alex so we could go visit Dolya. We got there at around 1 or so and sat around talking for a little before having lunch. After lunch and tea, Alex and I left Dolya who was reluctant to let us go. It was nice to see her considering she's such a sweet little old lady. Anyway, we went back to my house, had sex, and left to the city to see the Opera The Magic Flute at the Met. We waited around in Starbucks for an hour and then went to take our seats. My parents, sister, and grandparents were already there. The opera was wonderful. The production was simply amazing because of the gorgeous constumes and set design. I was glad that it wasn't too long, though, and that my sister didn't bitch as much. My grandparents drove me and Alex home and I reluctantly said good night to him.

Today was the first day of the last high school term of my life. It was amazing, but somewhat of a bummer to come back to school. A new term of work and bullshitting awaits me, but I'm tired already. Senioritis is here to stay and all I want to do is relax and tell my teachers to fuck off. Did well on my American Regent - 99 bitches! I guess that's really it for today. I'm just really tired and I'm looking forward to passing out at around 10, although we know that never actually happens. Later.

Let's pick up from yesterday afternoon. After Alex went to the dentist and got his hair cut, I came to his house where I was greeted by him, Lenny, and Oleg. We went up to Alex's apartment, but Oleg and Lenny left soon after. Alex was in need of a shower after his hair cut, so I came with him. It's a lot shorter now, but I think he looks very cute, although he doesn't believe me. The shower was followed by a quick snack and the watching of Kill Bill Vol. 2. Some arguing and reconciliation ensued and then we got our shit together and met Oleg to go to King Buffet. We got there and waited for Olga to get out of work, which is apparently the same pharmacy Margie works in. Small world. Anyway, we went with Olga to get cash and then made our way to a buffet full of Chinese food. Two plates of food and a desert bowl later, the four of us were ready to vomit. My body decided to reject all the food that came into my system, as I found out less than an hour later. No good. After the buffet, we went to Blockbuster and rented out Y Tu Mama Tambien and I was invited to participate in the ritual of the movie night. We walked to Olga's house and watched the movie, which I liked. However, my stomach was making obscene noises the whole time and Alex get giving me looks. Oh well. After the movie, I went home. It was an evening well spent and I'm really happy about that.

Today was quite eventful. First off, we took the last, final Regent of our lives and I can finally part with American History and Government. I'm so glad that's over. I bullshitted the essays, but I'm sure I'll do fine, as everyone will. Anywho, after the test, I went outside and stood around with Jein, Zina, Igor, and Anna talking about our latest scandal. Some janitor apparently put cameras in the girls' locker rooms and videotaped us. He had been doing this for some 20 years and in more than one school. Weird shit. A reporter from the Post came up to us and talked to us. Fun stuff. I'm not all that into school spirit, but this scandal just blows big time. It bothers me that our school gets such a bad rep when there are so many great students and teachers here.. When I finally found Alex, we made our way to Union Street so I could go on my Brown interview. I waited for a half an hour and then even longer for the dude to arrive. The interview went very well and I wasn't nervous in the least. My interviewer was easy to talk to and very interesting, so things turned out great. I have a good feeling. After the interview, and after much deliberation, I decided that Alex and I would go ice skating. We slept on the train ride to Central Park and walked through the freezing wind and cold to Wollman Rink. I hadn't skated in a while so I did a warm-up lap around the rink before taking Alex onto the ice. I taught him the basics and helped him get his way around for the first 20 minutes or so. Then, he was off on his own. By the end of our skating, Alex was just about as good as I was, which was great for him. We had one bad fall together, but Alex had some crazy balancing acts of his own. In all, it was a lot of fun because I got to do something I haven't done in a long time and I got to teach Alex how to skate. I have a feeling he enjoyed himself, considering the speed at which he grasped the task. Definitely a very fun moment in my scrapbook of fun moments. After the rink, we went to eat at the big Sbarro where my food left me before I left the restaurant. We went to Alex's house and did nothing. We talked and lay around and drank tea and argued. It was fun, and yet I'm not a big fan of us when we're at eat other's throats. I hate when shit like that happens and I hate that we go through it this often. Then again, I might just be able to blame in on my period this time around. Whatever it is, it should stop, because it's angering me.

Anywho, I'm off to bed. I get to waste my life away until Tuesday now that everything is done with. Hazzah. Enjoy yourselves, bitches!

Saturday evening I went to Alex's house and we lay around for a bit until we decided to play PlayStation, a first for me. We played some car racing game, Chocobo Racing, and some fighting game where I kicked ass. Can't say much for racing, or the fucking fireballs Alex kept throwing at me during Chocobo racing..bastard. It's ok, I got him back by kicking him repeatedly in the head and seeing the bright read letters K.O. jump onto the screen. It was a lot of fun playing, eventhough I sucked. We then had a snack and I massaged my thumb, which was getting a blister. Back in his room we lay around watching TV and then I went home at around 11.

Sunday I stayed home recording "We're Going to Be Friends" by The White Stripes and studying for finals.

Monday was the last day of finals. American was easy, Gov't whipped me in places I didn't know existed, and Music was just fun to take. At least that's all over. The first term is done and I'm ready to ease my way into second term, but with more enthusiasm because I can freely enjoy my senioritis. After the tests, Alex and I stood around talking to people on the corner, and then stood around talking to Anna and Steven. Then we were invited to go have Malaysian food with Lena and Lev. But drama between Lena and Anna ensued, and Igor, that idiot, tried to smooth shit out. No point to it, girls have to get over things in their own way. When we all decided to get Malaysian, all being me, Alex, Lena, Lev, Zina, Igor, and Jein, Anna decided she wasn't going and then Alex and I felt divided. It sucks when you're in the middle of an argument because I know it would've been even more fun had Anna come along. We decided to call Anna later and meet up with her for ice skating, but when we did, we found out it was closed. Anywho, Malaysian food was ok. The waiter forgot my order so I was waiting for ever to get my food while everyone munched away. We talked about random stuff and laughed about all kinds of shit. Afterward, we went to a Japanese restaurant to get fried ice cream. We sat in the corner booth and made a lot of noise. The tempura was scrumpcious. Then, we all went our separate ways. Alex and I went to his house and played some more PlayStation. We lay around and watched Men in Black and stuff. Eventually, we had some food and then went back to lying around and talking. When his parents went to sleep, we had a quickie and I left at 11.

Yesterday was really fun, too. I came over Alex's house in the morning and we had breakfast. We watched a part of Alexander naked and in his bed. Then is was straight to the sex, and what good sex it was. I got bound, gaged, and blindfolded again, but when he flipped me over and grabbed me by the gag, that was fucking nuts. Anyway, hot fucking sex it was. Afterward we took a bath and then a shower, which was fun. We sat around in his room and then went out to get Chinese food, potatoes, and make my first deposit to my account, all accomplished successfully. We ate at home and watched Ocean's 12 but didn't get to finish because Alex had to go to music. I was supposed to go meet Sandi in the city but my mom had to go to volleyball that night so I couldn't. It turned out later that she decided to stay home and that I went home for no reason. I got really pissed. I spent the evening doing absolutely nothing and waited for Alex to come home at 1:30 after his late-night donut adventures.

Now I'm mad bored and waiting for Alex to let me know what we're doing. Tomorrow is the American Regent and my Brown interview, so wish me luck. Hopefully, Alex will finally agree to go ice skating tomorrow, otherwise nothing new is going on. I'm just enjoying sleeping late, staying up late, and not being worried about homework or shit like that. What a relief.

Before winter break, NYC had a transit strike. Fun times, man. Alex and I went to school the 2nd and 3rd day of the strike. I basically spent the day playing games and having fun in Ms. Rosenberg's room. I got really good at playing Taboo. Getting home was a bitch though, and in retrospect, I should've stayed home during the whole strike. Oh well.

Winter break was really great this year. I went to Canada with my parents and with Morris's family to Mont Tremblant. When we left the US, the strike was over, but there was a strike in Mont Tremblant so there were barely any lifts open and shit. The first day, Morris's snowboard got stolen and everything went down from there. We did have any hot water or clean towels in the house. The lifts were closed. My mom's skiis were almost stolen. Morris and I kept thinking the parents would get furious, but they just came home and drank and smoked. Speaking of which, Morris and I smoked and had a fucking awesome time hanging out. One night we went to the little village place and had crepes with tea. We also watched Fun With Dick and Jane, which wasn't what I thought it would be. Anyway, we had a lot of fucking fun just chilling all day and night.

When I came back from Canada, I flew to Ft. Lauderdale to spend New Year's with Alex. I had an amazing time. The first night, Alex showed me the beach by his condo, where someone mysteriously left their beach chair. I blew his mind, and rightly so. It was pretty exciting. The second day, December 31, we tanned on the beach in the morning, took a nap, went on a walk, and swam around in the pool before our New Year's celebration. Bella served us caviar with champagne, which made me feel quite elegant, obviously. We watched a movie and lazed about until it was time to toast to the new year. We had a great dinner and stood on the balcony, on the 16th floor, watching the whole Ft. Lauderdale skyline fill up with fireworks. It was amazing because everyone was setting off fireworks and we could basically see the whole city. I had more champagne that Alex would've liked me to and then he got mad at me. I went to sleep in a crappy mood although the evening was fun. The next day, after spending quite some time on the beach, we went riding around on this water taxi that takes you to places in Ft. Lauderdale via a canal along which all the rich people live in their huge mansions. We walked around Las Olas and little bit and then went home. It was fun riding around but the taxi was way too slow for my taste. We basically followed the same routine the next day, only this time we spent most of our time at Las Olas making a mosaic elephant, which took quite a lot of time and effort. But when were done, it looked great. It was a lot of fun to do something like that together.

On January 3rd in the morning, we flew back to NY on different planes. My flight was delayed so I ended up waiting even longer than I had to. I sat between two fat, dirty, loud men and barely slept. That afternoon, I had an interview for Harvard, which didn't go too well. My interviewer, Ester Bloustein, is a lawyer for some big law firm and didn't give me any slack. It basically went pretty badly, but I was glad Alex accompanied me. It sucked coming back from warm, sunny weather to bleak, rainy weather, but I was glad to be back in NY being whipped around by people who decide my future. Phooey.

That weekend Alex and I went to see The Squid and the Whale, which was a really good movie. I loved Jeff Daniels in it; I think he did a really good job, as well as the kid who played the younger son. I extend my recommendations on the film. Afterwards we went to some Mexican restaurant off Bleeker, which was wonderful because we spent a really long time talking. On our way home, we stopped at Rice to Riches and got some wonderful rice pudding. We came home and frolicked and then Alex left.

The next day was pretty fun, too. We went to watch King Kong, which I really like up until the middle when the movie moves back to New York. It got way too sentimental there. Othewise, I loved the action and the fights between King Kong and the dinosaurs. You gotta give props to Peter Jackson, the man has an eye for directing. After the movie, we went to Ali Baba and had a really good dinner, only to come home to really good sex.

That Sunday, my parents decided to go to the movies and Alex came over on his way home from the city for an hour of straight fucking. It was amazing. We were both pretty tired by the end, but it was definitely worth it, as always.

Monday he came over and then we both came.

Same thing on Tuesday, only over the phone.

Those two days I got sick with a stomach virus and Alex came over to feed me crackers and serve me tea. It was really sweet of him and I'm just happy he didn't get it from me. I missed two important days of calculus, which pissed me off because I barely got the concept by the end of the week when we had a test on it.

Last weekend was pretty exciting, too. I was too tired to go out on Friday so Alex and I stayed home and smoked together. We listened to music, looked at funny pictures, talked, fucked, ate, watched Family Guy, and passed out, only to awake at 3:30 when Alex rushed home.

I stayed home on Saturday and Lena came over to sit around with me, talk, and sketch various objects in my room for her architecture class. We chilled for a few hours and talked about how much we hated Sasha, who, surprisingly, called me half an hour later. She left at around 7 and I went to my grandmother's house were I got to talk to Alex about his lying escapades. I basically spent that evening crying, hurting, and being sad. My parents came to my grandmother's house later and we watched March of the Penguins together.

Alex came over on Sunday and we hung out in my room clearing up shit going on between us. We were supposed to go to UCB but it was too cold to stand outside for over an hour for tickets, so we didn't. After sitting around in my room until 7-ish , Alex and I walked to get Chinese food on Kings Highway. I was fucking freezing and the two-block-walk home was unbearable. My legs froze over. I wouldn't let Alex take the train home because it was way too cold, so we waited around until car service came.

Monday was amazing. I came over Alex's house in the morning and we had breakfast. Then it was off to bed. Apparently I give really good head in the mornings, but then again, I was waiting for it the whole weekend. We lay around for a bit and then had sex. Then we lay around some more and talked. After some time, Alex whipped out the duct tape. Five minutes later, I was bound, gagged, and blindfolded, having the most amazing sex imaginable. It was nuts. The anticipation, the not knowing what's going on, the teasing.. everything came together so perfectly, and then so did I. Amazing. We had lunch and then sat around until around 7 when I went home.

So Thursday and Friday were the first two days of finals. I'm so glad this term is coming to an end but I'm pretty surprised it finally is. It feels like forever, and yet we're so much closer to college admissions decisions and choice. This is the last stretch and I'm so happy it's here.

Yesterday was pretty fun. Since we got out at 1:30, Alex and I had a lot of time to do a lot of things. First we went to the Met to get tickets for Aida at the student price of $25 for orchestra seats, which is amazing. We then walked up the the Museum of Natural History to see the Darwin exhibit. For $16 bucks per student ticket, it was worthless. The whole exhibit was like a walk-through of Darwin's life. Yes, there were live animals, but they weren't worth paying 16 bucks for. I mean, the guy was brilliant and his work is amazing, nonetheless. So much of what we know today is based on the understanding of evolution and natural selection, and it's great they have such a big exhibit devoted to him, but don't waste your money. After the museum, we went to a Spanish restaurant and had a wonderful meal, complete with $11 appetizers and flaming plantains. Our next stop was the movie theater. We walked to the Lincoln Square theater and watched Woody Allen's latest movie, Match Point. This is his first movie not filmed in New York and it totally exceeded my expectations, particularly because I was under the impression it had the same plot line as Wimbledon. It was awkward to see young, British actors in a Woody Allen film, although Scarlet Johansen fit his classic female role. The message of the story: do whatever the hell you want but make sure you're one lucky fuck. I think Allen did a really good job on the screenplay, but the main character turned me off somewhat. Not the shining acting I expect from an Allen film, but it was fantastic anyway. Gotta give the man kudos for it. After the movie, Alex and I walked down to Times Square. There were four pimped out low-riders tilted on their right wheels standing in trafffic getting attention. They would come down once in a while, fuck around with hydrolics, and then get back to standing and driving on their right side. All the tourists and stupid New Yorkers were running around like crazy taking photos, while Alex and I laughed at them. We went to Coldstone and got ice cream which we ate on the train ride home. The rest of the money that I had I gave to Alex for car service. The grand total of the night from my pocket? A nice, round $130. But it was worth it. When we got home, we had sex and then fell asleep. At 1, Alex left and I passed out to have the most wonderful sleep.

Woke up today at 12. Ate breakfast and drank tea. Now I'm waiting for Alex to tell me what the plan is for the rest of the evening. I guess I'm getting back to blogging although this is going to turn out more like something I do for myself because I doubt anyone reads this anymore. My time has long since gone. Later.